God is Good, Still

Boy, I used to have a ton of energy. I could get up early, work at the hospital all day, exercise, and stay up all night playing games or wallpapering the kitchen until dawn. I was still like that after birthing 2 children with the energy and mindset of a genetic mashup between Mary Poppins, Martha Stewart, and Florence Nightingale. I was a veritable Superwoman, and I wore my cape proudly.

All of a sudden at the mere age of 28, I began to experience several months of severe fatigue, low-grade fevers, and pain in my joints and muscles. I became fragile, like an 80-year-old who had been hit by a car. With one diagnostic swoop of autoimmune disease and fibromyalgia, my magic umbrella was slapped shut, and my Superwoman cape was ripped off. 

Not only was I physically and mentally miserable, but I had become angry; angry at God. How could He let this happen? Why, when I had served Him for years, did He allow me to be zapped of all my strength just when I had two high-octane-extreme-energy boys to care for? 

Unfortunately, my achievements had become my identity, and all of it was dwindling along with my strength. My life has never been the same.

Looking back at that young mother of 3 (yes, I got amnesia and welcomed a third boy), I could not be more grateful for that diagnosis and the changes it brought over the years. What I lost in strength, I gained in perspective. It made me a better mother, wife, nurse, daughter, and friend. I am forever in debt to my sweet, loving Father who used it to teach me that who I am is not dictated by any achievement, but by His divine purpose. He taught me that laughter can come from tragedy, and that a cheerful heart truly IS good medicine (Prov. 17:22).

So to the woman out there who may be in a similar boat as I was at age 28, possibly feeling abandoned, shocked by life’s tragedies, or simply feeling that God may not be hearing the prayers of your heart, I want to say there is hope. When we go through tough times and keep our eyes on Jesus in the midst of it, we come out the other end with a fresh perspective. One that we wouldn’t trade for anything. One that reminds us that God is good, still. No matter our circumstances.

Thoughtfully written by Sally Baucke.